My calling

The calling of James McDermott

Written: 10/18/2008

When I went through a refocusing with my church a couple years ago, it was evident that God has taken interest and action in my life. It was pretty amazing to see that though I was not walking with God at the time, He was definitely walking with me.

From the time my father died when I was 14 years old, dealing with bouts of depression, multiple divorces, and finally landing me at Oakwood Wesleyan Church; God has used my walk of life to train, mold, and build me up to a point where He has called me to work specifically for Him, still letting me know that I am a work in progress and far from the finished product.

If it were not for His mercy and grace specifically stated in Scripture, I would have stayed the living dead.

1 Timothy 1:15-16 (NIV)

15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

I had found this Scripture prior to the refocusing and it rang out strong and true to my heart. It was confirmed through the refocusing process.

As I continue to study and try my best to follow His lead in my life, the Holy Spirit has been convicting me and directing me consistently. Either through passionate feelings where I am compelled to speak or take action, or by repetition, and showing me what is expected of me to understand and work towards. Helping me to understand the concept that things occur according to His timing, and not what I expect or is convenient for me.

The lesson learned of living life through Him and for Him, rather than by me and for me, has been a difficult lesson and has taken the majority of my life to learn.

The area of life I speak of pertains in part to my many failed relationships and marriages. It has been through my last marriage that God has taught me to let go of my worldly view of how I thought relationships should be, and allow Him to take over. While reading His Word, He has made it clear that He wants me to relinquish my control over my life and give that control to Him.

From the calling of the first disciples; Peter and Andrew left at once, leaving their nets and followed Him; James son of Zebedee and his brother John immediately left the boat and their father and followed Him.

For two years in a row now, I’ve been compelled to obtain a formal education and leave my secular job. The first year I hit some very difficult times and did not follow through on the education and took no physical efforts to leave my secular job.

This second year, compelled once again to seek a formal education, I have registered and am to begin classes at Indiana Wesleyan for a Bachelors in Biblical Studies on November 11^th, 2008.

I’ve also taken physical steps to better my situation to leave my secular job, by selling much of my belongings, eliminating my debt and making arrangements to live more frugally: Ensuring that I am not serving any other gods, nor storing up treasures on earth.

Preparing myself in everyway possible to walk through the door, if and when God opens it, that door being full time ministry or what ever door God may present.

I have vowed not to date or be involved in a romantic relationship. I need to ensure my focus and priorities are not skewed or shared, keeping my energies on the path that God has placed before me.

As difficult as this entire process has been and as much negative feedback that I’ve received from friends and family, the sense of peace that has come into my heart has been over whelming. God has placed people in my path that love me and support me in this effort. He has placed me in positions that help me to grow in the gifts He has provided me. He has placed me in positions that challenge me to grow, but never under my own power or doing, but by His, the lesson of humility has been powerful.

Where ever the path leads that God has placed in front of me, I know that He loves me and is there with me. My life’s story has demonstrated that to me ever so clearly.