Focus, or lack there of...

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What a weekend. I have to say, I don't know or understand how I can be so...how do I want to say it... stiff necked, stubborn, weak, unfocused. I know that there are going to be good days and that there are going to be bad days. Sometimes I think I am to hard on myself and others that I am not hard enough. Finding a balance I believe is what is important.

The process of sanctification is just that, a process. Accountability with a measure of mercy and grace from Who is important.

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Though this journal was started on Monday Nov 3rd, here it is Nov 5th and I am very fired up!
A new resolve for making improvements in my life and stepping up to support those around me.
I feel more disconnected from my job, more than ever today. The thoughts of years past coming together into a possible reality that only could be put together by the Father alone. That I am only responsible for allowing Him to take control of my life and to celebrate the victories I have over my personal stumbling blocks. That I am only victorious because of what Christ has done for me, for us...

As I continue to reflect and think about different conversations and possible future events and encounters, it just seems to be even more clear that God has so much more in store for me. That where I am, though has been good, is not where I need to be tomorrow. That God has other plans, for me, for us, for Him. I am excited. I am nervous. I believe.

I believe that though I have changed, there is more change in store. That though I have won small victories, I need to prepare for the war. The battle is not over. I believe that though the lesson of humility has been great, I am not humble enough. I believe that though this is a journey of prayer, I have not journeyed enough. This is a journey that is traveled on my knees before my God. That I journey no where with out it being through Him. That I journey no where without it being by Him. That I journey no where without it being for Him.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Ephesians 3:12
In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

These two pieces of scripture speaks volumes for those on journeys. Quite frankly they apply to all of us. That if we approach our Father, He will listen to us, that gives us a freedom and a sense of peace that goes beyond all understanding, and transcends all needs.

What more could we ever want, ask for, expect, Who's very definition is Love. That if this is how our Father works for us, should we not apply the same for those around us. Which takes me full circle back to my second sentence in this part of the journal:

A new resolve for making improvements in my life and stepping up to support those around me.